June 3, 2000

There is a gathering of the women in the family around Goldie’s dinning room table, sorting through the responses to Loren’s wedding. Jessica and Reece had flown in for final dress fittings. Jessica’s was made big since she would either still be pregnant or just getting over having the baby.

Vanessa - “I think everyone RSVP’d to the positive”

Loren glances sideways at her mother, who is sorting through the opened envelopes. Loren picks up another one and sighes and rises from her chair. “Not everyone” She tosses the response she had been holding, at her as she leaves the room.

Vanessa looks down at the solitary response card and then in the direction Loren had walked, grabs the card and looks at it.

Goldie - “What was that all about?”

Both Vanessa and Goldie look at Jessica. “I don’t know.”

Vanessa - “Who is the response from?”

Goldie – “Something McGregor”

Vanessa - “let me see”

Jess glances at the card as it is passed in front of her. “It’s Chad.” Jess gets up and walks in the direction that Loren went.

Reece - “Who’s Chad”

Vanessa sighs. “He and Loren dated for a long time.”

Reece - “he’s not Tristan’s father”

Vanessa - “No. Their relationship didn’t survive her move to America”

Reece nodded. Unlike Jessica who was so open, Loren’s life is still pretty much a mystery to her.

Goldie - “I thought they had gotten over that break up thing and moved on and are friends”

Vanessa shrugs - “perhaps the getting over was only one sided”

Jess finds Loren down in Goldie’s garden, pulling weeds.

Jess - “Don’t make a pregnant woman chase after you”

Loren - “I didn’t ask to be chased”

Jess - “ok, you’ve been in a shitty mood all morning, I only have an hour until I have to leave for the airport so spill it”

Loren - “ Chad’s not coming”

Jess - “And”

Loren’s silent. Jessica struggles to sit down on the ground. “Ok, I can sympathize to a point, but he is your EX-boyfriend. Normally Ex’s don’t come to each other’s weddings and I know you weren’t expecting him to say yes. So what is really the matter?”

Loren is silent for a few more seconds, then sighs and hands Jess a folded sheet of paper.

Jess - “What’s this”

Loren - “It’s a Don Henley song, but it’s also what was with Chad’s reply”

She unfolds the paper and sits there reading it.

My Dearest Buttercup:

I am in receipt of your invitation and if you are reading this then you realize that I have chosen to decline your request of my presence at the blessed event. Please do not take my decline as a personal insult for that is not at all how it is intended. I have my reasons for not coming but none of which are to be construed as my not wanted to wish you the happiest of marriages and the pleasantest of lives. My love and fond wishes to you and your betrothed.

I have to be honest. I knew about your upcoming nuptials sometime prior to receiving your invitation and during that time I questioned whether I would be invited and if so what my answer would be. I have done a lot of soul searching and I think this will explain better than I could ever hope to, just how much you still mean to me . . ..

I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear

But I knew that it would come

An old, true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone

She said you found someone

And I thought of all the bad luck,

And the struggles we went through

And how I lost me and you lost you

What are these voices outside love's open door?

Make us throw off our contentment

And beg for something more?

I'm learning to live without you now

But I miss you sometimes

The more I know, the less I understand

All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again

I've been tryin' to get down

To the heart of the matter

But my will gets weak

And my thoughts seem to scatter

But I think it's about forgiveness

Forgiveness

Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

These times are so uncertain

There's a yearning undefined

...people filled with rage

We all need a little tenderness

How can love survive in such a graceless age?

The trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness

They're the very things we kill, I guess

Pride and competition

cannot fill these empty arms

And the work I put between us

doesn't keep me warm

I'm learning to live without you now

But I miss you, baby

The more I know, the less I understand

All the things I thought I'd figured out

I have to learn again

I've been trying to get down

to the heart of the matter

But everything changes

and my friends seem to scatter

But I think it's about forgiveness

Forgiveness

Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

There are people in your life who've come and gone

They let you down and hurt your pride

Better put it all behind you; life goes on

You keep carryin' that anger; it'll eat you up inside

I've been trying to get down

to the heart of the matter

But my will gets weak

and my thought seem to scatter

But I think it's about forgiveness

Forgiveness

Even if, even if you don't love me

I've been tryin' to get down

to the heart of the matter

Because the flesh will get weak

and the ashes will scatter

So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness

Forgiveness

Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

… As you will see, it is not that I don’t want to share your special day… it is more along the line of I do not think that I could bare to.

Please forgive me and please allow me to remain the coward when it comes to seeing you happily sharing your life with someone else. Good luck and god bless.

Forever yours,

Chad

Jess finished reading it and fold it back up and hand it to Loren.

Jess - “ you’re not having second thoughts about Kevin”

Loren - “ NO!”

Jess - “ ok, chill out. I just had to ask. So what are you going to do?”

Loren - “What do you mean, what am I going to do. I am going to get married to the man I love, that’s what I am going to do. Why should Chad’s not coming change that!!!”

Loren gets up and walk back towards the house. Jessica getting over her shock and yells over her shoulder. “You still love him, don’t you”

Loren doesn’t say anything and just kept on walking.

Inside the house she grabs her keys and purse off the breakfast bar and walks into the dinning room. She quickly kisses her mother on the cheek.

Vanessa - “Where are you going?”

Loren - “ Tristan’s riding competition is at 3”

She nods. “Fencing and horse riding competitions, that child has strange hobbies”

Loren shrugs and walks out the door with out another word.

Goldie - “What on Earth is going on?”

Jessica walks into the room then and everyone looks at her..

Reece - “Is Loren going to be ok”

Jess - “I have never known her not to be”

Vanessa - “what’s wrong with her. 2 days ago she was so excited to get fitted for her gown. Today she acts like she’s planning her funeral”

Jess - “I don’t know what is wrong. But I am sure it will all work itself out”

Vanessa - “ bloody hell” she smacks the tabletop. “I can’t seem to get a straight answer out of anyone these days”

She leaves the room, Goldie looks at her daughter.

Jess - “WHAT?”

Goldie - “Don’t use that tone of voice with me, I am still your mother. And I can tell when you are full of shit. And right now Jessica YOU are FULL of SHIT”

Goldie gets up, places her chair nicely under the table and does the same for the one Vanessa was sitting in and then walks out of the room. Reece looks a little frightened.

Jess - “You’ll have to excuse us. The woman in this family tend to feed off of each other’s hormonal imbalances”

Reece - “Is Loren still getting married to Kevin”

Jess just smiles. “Wild horses couldn’t keep her away. She’s just dealing with some issues right now, it happens to the best of us”

Reece - “ Please, I am the Queen of Issues”